Thursday, January 24, 2013

Pain Pain Go Away Come Again Another Day...

Another ER visit...  I fought it really hard this time, but I just can't take this pain anymore. I have the visit with the pain clinic for the trial on Monday, but that seems so far away.  The visit left me in more tears that when I arrived though. I am now convinced that either they don't believe how much pain I'm in or they think that I'm a drug seeker. I don't want drugs. I just want something to get rid of the pain. I hate it that the amount of delaudid that they give me doesn't work. It's not my fault it doesn't work. This time I had a social worker come and talk with me. I think they were wanting a psychological evaluation to see if I really needed the medical help or if I was just seeking more drugs. I am not like that. I hate that someone even thinks that I'm like that. The first thing that the PA said to me after they admitted me to the room was "We aren't giving you any IV pain meds". I don't care. Just take away my pain. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't in horrible pain. Now you are making my head hurt on top of the stomach for not believing me. The only good thing about this appointment was that they spoke with the pain clinic and got my trial moved up to tomorrow.  As soon as they offered to send me home, I took it. I can't be somewhere where I'm being treated as if I'm a bother to them - as if I'm wasting their time - as if I am seeking drugs - as if there is no one here that cares about me.

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